Goals and Motivations in BDSM

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In every job or relationship, an amount of motivation is needed. All Dominant- Submissive relationships need motivation as well as any other relationship. On the other hand, the relationship require short term, medium term and long term goals.

These goals may be as easy as to teach to kneel. Also, they might be as hard as teaching how to stay quiet when pain is inflicted. They might be as complicated as to teach having pleasure of being humiliated or changing their minds.

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Without setting a goal, the training is not possible.

It is good not to forget about this rule. You cannot know in which direction you will train them unless you know how to train them. To achieve your goal, firstly, you need to make a plan and plan the course of action. This plan may differ according to your submissive’s position, personality and your wishes, it should differ.

The main aim in the training of a submissive is that the submissive hand on her freedom and decisions to her dominant. Even though it is usually accepted when the relationship starts, for a complete surrender, a certain amount of time and circumstances need to be formed.

Except for the main aim of a submissive, there must be some other aims which are determined throughout the relationship. The structure of these aims should be little, not seeming unattainable. The goal in these aims are to motivate the submissive and let her live the joy of fulfilling them.

A successful BDSM Training is directly related to the motivation that the dominant gives. The dominant should plan many of the aims and draw a road map in the beginning.

After determining the things that you need so as to the submissive to achieve her goal, you should add these things in your BDSM contract.

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The informations such as fulfillment of the aims, how long it has taken to be completed, the obstacles that is faced in completing the aims are need to be noted. These things do not need to follow a pattern, they are needed to remark the parts that your submissive struggled so that when you assign her a new goal, you remember them.

  • If she achieves the goal and does it as in a way that you command, hold out an award.
  • If the aims is something that she can sharew with the society, tell her tos hare it with her friends. Whatever the task, the freedom of telling that she has succeed will motivate her.
  • Put deadlines in your goals.
  • Divide the complicated goals into parts and make her do it step by step.
  • If there is something that hinders her to achieve her goal such as a computer game, TV programs etc., ban it until she achieves her goal, however; you need to be careful here, do not let her do the task just as to regain the banned thing. This ban is only to prevent her from being distracted.
  • Be persistant and willing to let her know that she needs to get help from you if she finds something difficult. Encourage her to share her problems with you.

The task is needed to be defined clearly. The reward is to clear and based upon the performance. The effort must be rewarded.

Motivation is defined as a power to strenghten the energy and maintain the behavior.

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The submissive needs motivation to begin her duty. Motivation is always a impulsion. So as to motivate your submissive, it is essential to analyse her feelings and thoughts.

What does motivate the submissive? Why does she want to fulfill her task properly?

  1. To achieve her reward and to get ready to next reward by thinking that it will be a bigger reward.
  2. To be successful as a submissive.

Actually, these two alternatives divide into subplots. For example, let’s say she chooses the second option. The submissive might ask herself these questions:

“Why should I be a successful submissive?”

or

“Why do I want a better reward?”

Before giving her the duty, you should give her the answers of both of the alternatives time to time so that when she asks these questions to herself, she finds the answers by herself.

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If you make it right, this will be a motivation source itself.

Without positioning her to obey and carry out the orders, you cannot expect her to fulfill a given order. Communicate with her until being sure that she understands everything. Do not be scared of talking to your submissive.

Greetings.

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